Author: Hungry Chowlb

In: Ummm...

2009-01-14 12:56:47

Chilling at work, stomach growling, checking the clock to make sure it's moving. I'm starving to death.  Literally, I can feel my skin becoming loose from losing weight.  11:00AM - DING! Lunchtime!! Hello everyone! Meet Lunch!

Lunch...meet everyone. 

I know it's not the healthiest thing I could be eating, but I did have an apple this morning :)

So there I was, just me and the microwave.  I wasn't sure how to work the box, but somehow it ended up being flipped upside down in my hand and voila! INSTRUCTIONS!!!!!

Most people have had a frozen dinner before.  We know all you have to do is slit the film to vent and push some magic buttons.  Step 1.  I had to actually cut out the film over the nuggets! Not just slit to vent, I had to become one with the fork and trace around the edge of the nugget film, careful not to disturb the others.  I encountered a brief panic attack when I realized I may or may not have pierced the corn film... we'll just have to wait and see. 

Aside from the crazy film extravaganza, it was a typical microwave experience.  Someone had graciously left a copy of "Home and Garden" by the can opener so I didn't get too bored. 

BEEP BEEEP BEEEEEEEP!

NUGGET TIME!!!! Hastily, with all disregard of step 3 (who wants to wait by microwave for 2 minutes?  What does step 3 mean?? Is it the secret to life?) I plunged into the microwave and  removed my scalding lump of magma plastic with chicken bricks and a side of corn on the macaroni and cheese.  Back at the desk I thought back on my experience to ensure that all the instructions where followed precisely and accurately so that I may have the utmost enjoyment of my nugget meal.  Then it occurred to me...there was a step 4...dun dun dunnnnnnnn....

Double you tee eff??? I need a meat thermometer for my chicken nuggets??? Hello, it's a microwave, I'm already shooting dangerous amounts of nuclear waste into my processed meat, and now I have to follow step 4?  I didn't even know they made food thermometers... if they want me to be this thorough you could at least toss one in the box for me. 

Have you ever seen someone standing by the microwave with a food thermometer in their Healthy Choice?

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